The Colour/Shape/Brushstroke Triangle:
In the beginning. I just wanted to paint something perfect!—something that looked how I felt, or maybe how the world feels to me. But a few months into working with oil, something began to surface from my own struggle on / off the canvas. This triangle relationship:
Colour. Shape. Brushstroke.
And the more I try to master one, the more the other two resist.
At first, I chased colour. Tried hard to mix that exact hue! I wanted that vividness that pops life itself. I practiced chroma, played with temperature, let colours sit beside each other just to see how they’d hum or argue. But when I stepped back, the painting had no skeleton. Forms had melted, and the brushwork—well, it felt contrived, affectionate, or just… trying too hard.
I had an epiphany then, the exact colour doesn’t matter; the relationships between colours do.
Then I went full-on with shape. Structure, proportion, placement—these always come easier to me, even as a child. But now, my eyes don’t let me work in that ultra-detailed way. Everything looks blurred, bubbling at the edges. How can I capture the exact shape like this? I tried building everything as a scaffold. I filled in the colour blocks with lines, or colouring inside the closed shapes. What results are tense. Too careful. Like it was afraid to speak out of turn. Needless to say, this isn’t my way either.
So I let go. I went all in on brushstroke. No sketch. Since the Easter holiday I’ve been trying just action. I let the touch on the canvas think faster than my brain. I can’t always see clearly where the brush tip ends, so I’ve started to rely on touching the canvas with or without the brush. And for the first time, the painting felt alive.
But it also felt drunk 😜 —too wild. The forms twisted, the colours bled. I had energy, yes, but no clarity. No harmony. Not yet.
And now I’m here, somewhere between the three. Trying to listen to all of them at once. That’s the heart of it, I think—this triangle isn’t about choosing your favourite date for the Easter holiday 😇. It’s realising they’re always arguing in the background. (And behind my back, lol.)
I can reach for the extreme of one—masterful colour, perfect structure, or visceral stroke—but each time I do, I lose focus on the others. Maybe that’s not failure. Maybe that’s just the price of speaking through oil paint.
One day, I will be able to balance all three (and more, as I discover them on the journey). To get them in one place, on the canvas, not agreeing, but dancing together. From time to time, I will I let one lead, and forget about the rest for being too jealous. 😍
This is my triangle relationship, about painting—and life itself.
This is my painting journey. Day 226 and counting.
色彩/形状/笔触的三角关系
最初，我只想画出完美之作！——那种能精确传递我内心感受，或是世界在我眼中模样的画。但接触油画几个月后，在画布上反复挣扎的过程中，一种三角关系逐渐浮现：
色彩。形状。笔触
而我越是试图掌控其中一环，另外两环就反抗得越激烈。
——
起初，我追逐色彩。拼命调出理想中的色调！渴望那种跃动着生命力的鲜明感。我练习纯度、玩弄冷暖，让颜色彼此依偎，观察它们是和谐低吟还是激烈争吵。但退后一看，整幅画却失了骨架。形态融化了，而笔触——要么显得刻意而造作，要么过度深情，或者… simply trying too hard.
那时我顿悟：＂精确的色值并不重要，色彩之间的关系才是关键＂。
接着，我全身心投入形状。结构、比例、构图——这些本是我的强项，自幼便是。但如今，我的眼睛已不允许我进行超精细作业。一切边缘都模糊晕染，像冒着气泡。我尝试用线条搭建骨架，在闭合形状中填色。结果却紧绷拘谨，如履薄冰，仿佛害怕一丁点的出格。显然，这也不是我的路。
于是我放手，彻底拥抱笔触。不打草稿。复活节假期以来，我只管”action”。旨在让落在画布上的触感快过大脑思考。既然我的眼疾让我看不清笔尖轨迹，我便开始用手指直接触碰画布（用画笔用毛巾皆可）。这一次，画作终于有了呼吸。
但也醉态毕露😜——过于狂野。形体扭曲，色彩漫溢。能量有了，却失了明晰与和谐。至少目前如此。
希望我能游走于三者之间。尝试同时聆听所有声音。我想这就是核心——这个三角关系不是让我像挑选复活节约会对象般非此即彼😇，而是意识到主角永远会在背景中争吵（甚至在我背后搞小动作，哈哈）。
我可以极致追求某一个，绚烂的色彩、完美的结构、或本能的笔触——但每次专注其一，其余二者便可能黯然失色。或许这不是失败，而是用油画表达的代价。
终有一日，我能平衡这三者（或许还会有旅途中新发现的第四.. 第五对像）。我要让它们并非妥协共处，而是在画布上共舞。偶尔，我也会纵容其中一位领舞，暂时忘却其他两位的妒意😍。
这就是我的三角关系，关于绘画——也关于生活本身。
这是我的绘画之旅。第226天，仍在继续。
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